Where To Get Your Drink On - Lighthouse Beer and Wine

http://www.lighthousebeerandwine.com/

Tap a fine-ass keg! Bust out the German dobblebocks! Sip the tangy taste of quality fermention!

You would think we're talking about a trip to the redlight district in Heidelberg, but no. We're just walking over to Lighthouse on Old Causeway Drive near the Post Office. Hmm, let's see hea' now...hmm...Holy shit!

-400 different types of beer! That has to be an exaggeration; it has got to be more like 384.

-It's the only place near the island to get kegs (lots of different types of keg beer) that we know of:
http://www.lighthousebeerandwine.com/Portals/0/documents/LighthouseKegList2009.pdf

-It's got plenty of the top selling wines (Who drinks that crap?).

-It's got cigars and American Spirit cigarettes.

-It's got beer and wine tastings (not enough of them!).

-It's got the infamous Lighthouse Beer Festival at Wilmington's Hugh Mac Rea Park. This year it will be held on October 17th.

-Did we forget anything? Oh yeah, it has outdoor seating so you can drink beer and smoke on the premises, then walk home in a haze of buzzing glory.

-And hey, what's this? It has catering? Beer catering? Jesus, Marias y Jose! Alright, that's not even right. We want these guys to do every wedding we ever have to go to that probably will just have cheap domestics and Heinekens without their help. Why didn't anyone tell us about this catering thing sooner? And where the hell is the sangria? Come on, man.

Next: Where To Get Your Banking On - RBC

Where To Get Gas and Beer - Salisbury Street Gas Station

When they closed the greatest Pizza Hut in the world that was at the north end of Banks Channel at Salisbury Street, it left a hole in the heart of every WB resident and frequent visitor; it was likened to the night they drove Old Dixie down. No one has ever forgiven Pizza Hut and the owner of the land for that. The pain was made worse by the fact that nothing was ever built on the land, which means that our beloved Pizza Hut, with its great lunch specials and BEER service overlooking the water, could still be there.
Then the Scotchman across the street closed and everyone on the north end had to go to the BP on Causeway Drive or go off the island for gas and overpriced Doritos when Robert's Grocery was closed for the day. Then the BP stopped selling gas and that opened the door for someone to reopen the old gas station on Salisbury because everyone keeps their gas tank near empty to avoid spending money they don't have.

So now this new station sells gas and overpriced Doritos and is run by a fairly nice fellow who seems to be of Middle Eastern heritage. He smiles, he's polite, he gives the correct change, he's employing American workers when he's not there. But still we have to hear the bullshit about not supporting the store because the money is going to Al Qaeda. Hey, until we see the Al Qaeda Handbook in his hands with a finger on the trigger, we're going to assume that the guy is just trying to live the American dream and support his family.

The jealousy involved in labeling the guy, who probably had to pass a back round check to buy a frickin' place anywhere near the state of NC, has been staggering . It's all well and good to hate people different from ourselves, but if they are providing a necessary service, like BEER and CIGARETTES and GAS and MUNCHIES and TOILET PAPER, you better back the fuck off because that guy is in the Circle of Friends On A Probationary Basis. Beer and cigarettes alone means we might mistakenly die for him, like Mr. White in the movie Reservoir Dogs.

Leave the guy alone and be thankful that he was able to get the investment money (from Allah knows where) to provide you with gas early in the morning when your tank is on E...again. We don't know his name, we don't know the name of the gas station--we don't need to know him by any other name but Mr. Orange.

Next: You'll Wreck If You Miss The Lighthouse

Private Club Bars NOT Exempt From No Smoking Ban

http://www.ncleg.net/Sessions/2009/Bills/House/PDF/H2v10.pdf

It looks like you will be outside smoking in the cold come January. The new NC law will not exempt bars that are "private clubs," where members have to sign in, from the new no smoking restrictions. The new law states:

“a country club or an organization that maintains selective members, is operated by the membership, does not provide food or lodging for pay to anyone who is not a member or a member’s guest, and is either incorporated as a nonprofit corporation in accordance with Chapter 55A of the General Statutes or is exempt from federal income tax under the Internal Revenue Code as defined in G.S. 105-130.2(1). For the purposes of this article, private club includes country club.”

The most important part there is, "and is either incorporated as a nonprofit corporation in accordance with Chapter 55A of the General Statutes or is exempt from federal income tax under the Internal Revenue Code."

Be seeing you in the outdoor smoking enclosure, unless you quit. Or we can hang at the new cigar bars that serve booze that just got the green light from the new law.

Next: Meet The New Bo$$, Same As The Old Bo$$

You Will Be Absorbed...Into The No Smoking Zone

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/22/obama-to-sign-antismoking_n_218784.html

Come on, Obama! This is just one big PR campaign and you know it. Everything else in our government is messed up so here is a softball you can hit out of the park. It's also a big con. The worst part of the con is that you smoke, hypocrite!

First the states double and triple the price of cigarettes so that those who cannot afford it have to quit. Once more people have quit (involuntarily) than those who had the willpower to do so on their own, that combined amount should outnumber the people who still smoke, thus swaying public opinion toward any anti-smoking measure that is proposed.

Those of us that have smoked for years are fully aware of the harmful and addictive effects of cigarettes--that's why we keep smoking them! There are very few things better that a stiff drink and a drag on a sweet cancer stick. Even better is a pull on the cigar (which is not part of the new regulations), the clove cigs that get you kind of high (not included), or the dip (ditto).

For years we've been kept in the dark about the additives in cigarettes, and we didn't care. We don't care what's in our processed food. We don't care what hormones are in our meats. We don't care what is in the air we breathe, what's in our water, what chemicals are used on our fruits and vegetables, what's leaking from our nuclear power plants, what mining and forestry mills are doing to our streams and rivers, etc., etc.

So why trying to affect some thing that we actually care about, Barack? What's up with that. We all know that every day, before you give one of your speeches that you insist on giving EVERY DAY, you take a few drags of Marlboro Lights to take the edge off. So why can't we take the edge off, too?

And by the way, now that the nicotine will be reduced so that they taste like Canadian cigarettes, you have effectively created a black market (no pun there) for today's stronger smokes. People will be loading up on them and selling them for the next year for plenty of money.

And what the hell is so bad about the additives that you want to allow the FDA, which can't even keep our food or our drugs safe, to regulate cigarettes? What link now?

http://quitsmoking.about.com/cs/nicotineinhaler/a/cigingredients.htm

Oh..ah...alright, even if all that shit were true, which is in doubt, that doesn't change any of the other dangers mentioned earlier. Another thing is that living in any major city is like smoking 2-3 packs a day because of the air pollution. Now if you live in an area with clean air and smoked a pack a day, you're doing better than most. Air, water, and food pollution deserves your attention and your pen. But lets face it, the industries that control those things are just not the soft targets that the cigarette smokers are. They can fight back.

"It is a law that will save American lives," Obama said. Hmm. We can think of a few more ways to save American lives...campaign promise...troops...ring any bells?

Next: Breakfast Burritos? Que? Hay, Mio!