Bike and Surf Board Thefts Continue To Plague Locals

http://bicycle-gear.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_choose_a_bicycle_lock

It used to be that Fantasy Island had it's share of missing bikes that would be "borrowed" by a drunken neighbor or friend and returned promptly the next day, or they sat in someone's yard until a friend recognized it and returned it. It used to be that the beach cruisers, so ubiquitous on the streets of WB, were beaters that were of no value to anyone other than the owner. The recession, and the glamour of some of the newer cruisers, seems to have created a healthy black market for bikes to be taken off the island.

If you live here, you probably know someone who has had a bike stolen this year. If the cops are actually checking the pawn shops, as they claim, then it has to be assumed that the bikes are being taken out of the county to be resold, or put up for sale on the Internet. However, there was an incident earlier this summer when a stolen bike was bought from a Wilmington pawn shop and ridden on the beach until the former owner recognized it and called the police; he had reported it stolen.

Unlike the bikes, the surfboards appear to be often stolen by other local surfers. There seems to be some part of the same obsessive personality that fuels the thirst for surfing that also fuels the thirst for other people's surf boards, in some people. The surfer personality seems to lend a hand in the trend, and they enable the crimes of opportunity by stupidly leaving their boards on their porches. If you enjoy surfing, it's nice to have several different types for different kinds of waves and to share with friends; that could cost you several thousand dollars, and it is a motivator to steal them.

The bikes and surfboards that have disappeared this year, many of which have not been reported because the victims feel it is a waste of their time, is part of a trend that we would like to see end quickly. The best way to facilitate that is to remember to lock up your shit.

Sweetwater Surf Shop Sidewalk Sale - August 8th, 2009 From 8AM

http://www.sweetwatersurfshop.com/

One of the things that locals know is that this event is where you spend your hard-earned money that's supposed to go to rent, because the savings are worth it. The sale items inside and outside the store are discounted from 20-80%, and there are plenty to choose from. This is the weekend to replace your worn flip flops, disintegrating bikinis, or you can add to that cool t-shirt collection by having EVEN MORE surfer shirts, poser. There'll be plenty of stuff on sale, so head to the Neptunes parking lot (or go inside the store) for savings, bitches!

Get Babes By Posing As A Bar Or Club Door Guy

http://www.tmz.com/2008/11/13/family-guy-creator-in-bar-rejection-quagmire/

In any bar, bartenders get the most trim because drunk women like to have the option of free shots every now and then. Bouncers get their fair share because of their size and/or the perception that they know how to protect a woman. But door guys, who might also be bouncers, get the pick of the litter because they are actually meeting women outside BEFORE they get hammered. If they can attract them then, they will have no problem after the women have had a few.

It's very difficult to get a piece of the bartender or bouncer action unless you actually get a job doing those things, so let's take the easy route and talk about how to pose as a door guy for easy access to tuna.

1) Get to know guys that work at the door of clubs and bars. Befriend them and tip them generously, in order to get them on your side of this adventure. You can choose to tell them what you're up to if you think they'll be O.K. with it.

2) Buy a t-shirts from the establishment and wear it when you are not at the bar, laying the groundwork for the perception that you have something to do with the bar.

3) Hang out near, but not too close to, the door. Fold your arms to giving the appearance that you are helping out.

4) Smile at every lady that sparks your interest and give them an approving nod and a smile. The perception of power that this action conveys is a powerful attractant, even to women who are not insecure.

5) Ignore people who try to hand you their ID's and point to the actual door guy, as if you're too cool to check IDs.

6) Give restrained handshakes and greeting to friends, as if you are working and you are worried about the boss firing you for seeming unprofessional.

7) Once the place is hopping, go inside and have a few drinks and find the women that got your eye earlier. That investment in time you just made standing outside is about to pay off!

8) If a fight or confrontation does break out, avoid it completely. When you are asked by your new friends why you did not intervene, casually mention that it is not legal because you are now drinking and it would make the bar liable if you actually hurt someone with your MMA skills.

9) When you leave with a friend, be sure to tell the door guy that you'll see him the next day and that he should give you a call if he needs anything.

Where To Drink - Barbary Coast - Downtown Wilmington

http://www.myspace.com/the_barbary

We're not fans of the new Barbary Coast motto. Frankly, upping the standards is something that should not have to be said. It would have been simpler to change the name in order to tell your customers that you have entered a new era. But when you are Wilmington's oldest bar, as we are constantly reminded from their ads, it's smart to preserve the name for the sake of nostalgia.

The bar was immortalized in David Lynch's seminal film about the underbelly of small town America, Blue Velvet. Lynch choose the place because it was so seedy, and the appearance of the bar in the film probably attracted even more assholes than it already had. Today's story is that they kicked out most of the drunken old regulars (the type of pirate personality that gave the place a bad reputation) and now cater to the young, hip crowd that has been making downtown their domain. While we have nothing against that, we still raise our eyebrows every time we read this new motto because it does not do what mottos are supposed to do: give a feeling of fun, enjoyment, and relaxation. It makes you wonder how high their standards are, if you fit it, and why you shouldn't just keep walking.

It's the fucking Barbary, man. It's the basis of the story Wilmington mom's tell their kids if they don't want them to grow up to be drinkers. That type of ingrained fear can never be overcome. The place is named after the home base area of Berber white-slave traders that raided European coastal towns and sent over a million slaves to Morroco and Algeria, while making the coasts of Spain and Italy desolate from fear well into the 19th century. It's also the name of San Fransisco's red light district during the gold rush of the 1850s.

With that said, it is really nice to walk into the Barbary Coast without worrying about getting stabbed. Yeah, you're still on guard against imaginary threats of violence, but that's only if you know about the bar's rough and tumble past. Most of the other bars (and the streets) in downtown are far more dangerous than the tone-downed Barbary these days, but the ghosts of the past still hover and whisper in your ear.

New floor, clean walls, decent bathrooms, and new ashtrays are only some of the upgrades from last year that are now finally worn in. There are exceptional collectibles on the walls that have remained from the old days. The pirate theme has been maintained with several nods to progress and the 21st century, like numerous flat screen TVs to watch sports or FuelTV. There are over 100 beers available (YES!), as well as mixed drinks.

The outdoor patio that was highly touted when they reopened is really not that big a deal. It's tiny, but it will come in handy for smokers when January comes around. There are two pool tables and...HOLY SHIT!...a real dartboard, with very good quality darts! Is that really so hard? And you don't even have to pay for it. We love free darts. There's also a foolsball table...Sorry, that's fooseball.

The bartender mentioned that the last couple of weeks have been good for business, so whether we like or dislike that douchey motto has nothing to do with their continued success. And that's the way it should be. Young, black president... Young college people at the renewed Barbary Coast... What a time we live in. What a time. Go and enjoy.

T.J. Hooker Is Coming!

Everyone loves cops, and T.J. Hooker is the most lovable cop of all time. We can't wait for the feature film. Here's the first installment of TJ's best lines courtesy of http://www.tv.com/T.J.+Hooker

Hooker: (after quizzing suspect) Get away from me, before I book you just for practice.

Hooker: If you think of anything else, call me. (cops leave)
Turlow: Don't count on it.

Hooker: (to FBI agents) Either of you get in my way again, you're going to need a flashlight and forceps to find your badges.

Corrigan: You know, you could learn to be a tad more diplomatic with [Cpt. Danza].
Hooker: I'm taking up needlepoint; I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

Senator Grayle: I've learned a heck of a lot from you. I'd like to be team-mates with you again.
Hooker: I've learned a lot too, Stuart. I prefer the streets, they're clean.

Nembutsu: You're a dead man. I promise you.
Hooker: I'm easy to find.
Stacy: He's a friend, and he needs protection.
Hooker: And you need a tan, right?
Stacy: Exactly. Was there something you wanted to say?
Hooker: Pack your bikini, blue eyes.

Hooker: You're pressing it, Stacy.
Stacy: I thought Karen was the psychiatrist?Hooker: She's got the diploma, I've got the streets.

Karen: What you got in there?
Hooker: An uzi, and a hostage. It's good to see you again.

Mr. Huntman: Sergeant, back off! Do you know who this little party is for? The mayor—a little fundraiser for his re-election. Push me, you push him. Get the point?
Hooker: If I have to, I'll push the both of you, to Hell and back—count on it.

Beaman: (on the model) Young of course, but she knows her way around, if you know what I mean. Very co-operative.
Hooker: I'm sure she is, just like you, Mr. Beaman.
Beaman: Yes, well... I do have to get back to work.
Hooker: Thanks for your help.
Stacy: (as Beaman makes a quick exit) I guess he means well.
Hooker: So do street pimps.

(Stacy is dressed extremely sexily)
Hooker: Salary scales are great. But there's a departmental ruling against moonlighting.

Hooker: (after shooting to kill) He wouldn't stop. He's dead.
Corrigan: You didn't kill him. He died a long time ago.

Hooker: I want to put someone inside the local porn business.(everyone looks at Stacy)

Lester: Are you as good as you look?
Stacy: Last I heard, I'm better.

Hooker: (on fleeing perp's car) Hit the brakes, or I'll take your head off!(about to question models)

Hooker: They're all yours.
Romano: (mock sighs) My kind of suspects.
Barbara Canton: This is Vince.
Girls: Ohhhhhhhhhh.
Romano: Thank you, ladies. The feeling is mutual.

Romano: Hey, Hooker, where she supposed to wear her wire?
Stacy: In my trick bag. An out callgirl never parts with her trick bag. And don't get any ideas about helping me on with it. It's fine just where it is.

April: You're a terrific cop, Hooker. I'm not anxious to die with you either.

(Teri draws something she saw on one of the crooks)
Teri: There. Another clue.
Hooker: You're real good, you know.
Teri: You're right, I am. And smart too. You know why?
Hooker: Why?
Teri: I won't have that drink with you.
Hooker: I didn't ask.
Teri: Ah, that's what makes you... only half smart, sarge.

(on an uncooperative witness)
Hooker: Maybe you'd get more out of him if you laid on a little charm.
Dani: You mean, 'bat my baby blue eyes and flirt.' Why the hell don't you try?
Hooker: I would if I had your equipment.
Dani: Right, nice to know you aren't a chauvanist.

Where To Eat And Drink - Circa 1922 - Downtown Wilmington

http://www.circa1922.com/

It is so easy to dismiss Circa as THE snob eatery of Wilmington, NC. This is Ash Aziz's flagship location; his other places have a bit more of a laid back feel. It's been around for many years, and the clientele is a mix of lawyers, doctors, developers, and other members of the local aristocracy. Those people bring their friends and family there to impress them because, let's face it, the place is very impressive.

When you walk in, the first thing that hits you is size of the ceilings. Then the magnificence of the bar is the next thing that catches your eye. Dark, stained wood frame mirrored shelves that hold an impressive selection of liquors. The MacCallan 18, please. There are also a few beers on tap, including Guinness and Hefferveisen. Most people opt for a table, but we like to head straight for the bar, where you can get your food and drink quickly with a nod to one of the superb bartenders.

We will probably never say this about another restaurant as long as this site is up and running, but you really can't go wrong with ordering any of the food at Circa. It's all good, baby. You know sometimes when you ask a server what is good on the menu, and the reply is that everything is great? That's usually a lie. Not so at Circa. Lamb Shanks came with snobbed-up grits. Great. Calmari was ordered to go with the Eggplant Rollantine. Fantastic. Sushi? If you like it, have it here. We could go on, but it would be best if you get your ass in there and start ordering stuff.

At about 8 PM an older woman will roll up and start playing some tunes on the piano. She will be joined over the next hour by the rest of the jazz ensemble that will play well-worn, comfortable tunes until closing; there's no better way to enjoy food and drinks. The staff is exceptional and are probably the most highly trained and professional in town. They know their wines, and they are very helpful with suggestion.

So, you may well ask, isn't there ANYTHING you could find wrong in this place. Yes. The men's bathroom door upstairs slams, hard. It is loud as hell and very off-putting when you're trying to take a shit. Other than that, it must be repeated that Circa 1922 is tops in it's class, and probably classy enough for you and your friends.

Where To Drink - The Pour House - Downtown Wilmington

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wilmington-NC/The-Pour-House-Wilmington/110626543242

This place used to be the Underground Sandwich Shop, which everyone loved. Walking in there was a blast from the past since we were expecting to smell onions and roast beef. Our sense of smell was pleasantly surprised to get a whiff of a brand, spanking new interior. The space has been altered into a very cozy little bar to which you can escape all the noise and constant annoying chatter that permeates just about every other downtown bar. We would guess the place fits about 50-60 max., and sometimes that's just a better way to be, especially if you're trying to get drinks.

The night we were there some dude named Tom Rhodes was spanking the hell out of guitar and doing some nice variations on some rock songs. The small stage has live music most nights. They have Yuengling, Fat Tire, Blue Moon, Sam Adams Summer Ale, and Guinness on tap. They also have a nice selection of mixed drinks.

We love music, but sometimes what other people play on the jukebox is fuckin' annoying. It was really nice to have a respite away from the "clang, clang" of the downtown scene for a bit. We think that the location (at the corner of Front and Market) will serve the Pour House well, and we look forward to making it a regular stop on our bar hops.

The Official World Series Of Beer Pong Tournament - 16 Taps - Tonight!

Beer pong, as played by frat robots and sorority hos all over the country, is a very disgusting game to play while drinking. The object is to get a ping-pong ball into the cup of the opposing team...and, who the fuck cares. Frankly, we prefer Strip Pong. Use your imagination, and the photos in this article, to make up the rules. It looks like grandma is winning!

If you have not been unfortunate enough to waste part of a keg on this ridiculous reason to drink beer (Flip-cup is equally asinine, by the way), then you can find out about the rules here: http://www.bpong.com/wsobp/official-rules-of-the-world-series-of-beer-pong

Ridiculous? Yes. But, hey! What's this? You can win four nights in Las Vegas in January and have a chance to win $50,000! O.K. We might give this thing a shot because no one loves the girls in Vegas more than us. If we win this competition we may just let the ladies play our round at what is sure to be a good time. Four nights in Vegas is the guaranteed shit, for any reason...even if it is for beer pong.

Instead of throwing the ball into the beer cups, you will be throwing it into cups filled with water, and then drinking from separate beer cups. Now that makes more sense than pretending that washing off the ball that just hit the ground is somehow sanitary.

After we win this thing in Vegas, we'll hire as many "entertainers" as $50,000 can buy, assuming we even make it down there tonight.

The Official World Series Of Beer Pong... Wow! You know you want to go there. It's way more fun than playing the game on your porch, in dim lighting, with people taking their clothes off. Whatever. We have to include a few more pics of Strip-Pong and start up a league.