Feel free to read these older articles from the summer of '09. New articles an updates can be found on the new site. Please visit us at wrightsvillebeachbum.wordpress.com
Shalom!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Bike and Surf Board Thefts Continue To Plague Locals
http://bicycle-gear.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_choose_a_bicycle_lock
It used to be that Fantasy Island had it's share of missing bikes that would be "borrowed" by a drunken neighbor or friend and returned promptly the next day, or they sat in someone's yard until a friend recognized it and returned it. It used to be that the beach cruisers, so ubiquitous on the streets of WB, were beaters that were of no value to anyone other than the owner. The recession, and the glamour of some of the newer cruisers, seems to have created a healthy black market for bikes to be taken off the island.
It used to be that Fantasy Island had it's share of missing bikes that would be "borrowed" by a drunken neighbor or friend and returned promptly the next day, or they sat in someone's yard until a friend recognized it and returned it. It used to be that the beach cruisers, so ubiquitous on the streets of WB, were beaters that were of no value to anyone other than the owner. The recession, and the glamour of some of the newer cruisers, seems to have created a healthy black market for bikes to be taken off the island.
If you live here, you probably know someone who has had a bike stolen this year. If the cops are actually checking the pawn shops, as they claim, then it has to be assumed that the bikes are being taken out of the county to be resold, or put up for sale on the Internet. However, there was an incident earlier this summer when a stolen bike was bought from a Wilmington pawn shop and ridden on the beach until the former owner recognized it and called the police; he had reported it stolen.
Unlike the bikes, the surfboards appear to be often stolen by other local surfers. There seems to be some part of the same obsessive personality that fuels the thirst for surfing that also fuels the thirst for other people's surf boards, in some people. The surfer personality seems to lend a hand in the trend, and they enable the crimes of opportunity by stupidly leaving their boards on their porches. If you enjoy surfing, it's nice to have several different types for different kinds of waves and to share with friends; that could cost you several thousand dollars, and it is a motivator to steal them.
The bikes and surfboards that have disappeared this year, many of which have not been reported because the victims feel it is a waste of their time, is part of a trend that we would like to see end quickly. The best way to facilitate that is to remember to lock up your shit.
Sweetwater Surf Shop Sidewalk Sale - August 8th, 2009 From 8AM
http://www.sweetwatersurfshop.com/
One of the things that locals know is that this event is where you spend your hard-earned money that's supposed to go to rent, because the savings are worth it. The sale items inside and outside the store are discounted from 20-80%, and there are plenty to choose from. This is the weekend to replace your worn flip flops, disintegrating bikinis, or you can add to that cool t-shirt collection by having EVEN MORE surfer shirts, poser. There'll be plenty of stuff on sale, so head to the Neptunes parking lot (or go inside the store) for savings, bitches!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Get Babes By Posing As A Bar Or Club Door Guy
http://www.tmz.com/2008/11/13/family-guy-creator-in-bar-rejection-quagmire/
In any bar, bartenders get the most trim because drunk women like to have the option of free shots every now and then. Bouncers get their fair share because of their size and/or the perception that they know how to protect a woman. But door guys, who might also be bouncers, get the pick of the litter because they are actually meeting women outside BEFORE they get hammered. If they can attract them then, they will have no problem after the women have had a few.
It's very difficult to get a piece of the bartender or bouncer action unless you actually get a job doing those things, so let's take the easy route and talk about how to pose as a door guy for easy access to tuna.
1) Get to know guys that work at the door of clubs and bars. Befriend them and tip them generously, in order to get them on your side of this adventure. You can choose to tell them what you're up to if you think they'll be O.K. with it.
2) Buy a t-shirts from the establishment and wear it when you are not at the bar, laying the groundwork for the perception that you have something to do with the bar.
3) Hang out near, but not too close to, the door. Fold your arms to giving the appearance that you are helping out.
4) Smile at every lady that sparks your interest and give them an approving nod and a smile. The perception of power that this action conveys is a powerful attractant, even to women who are not insecure.
5) Ignore people who try to hand you their ID's and point to the actual door guy, as if you're too cool to check IDs.
6) Give restrained handshakes and greeting to friends, as if you are working and you are worried about the boss firing you for seeming unprofessional.
7) Once the place is hopping, go inside and have a few drinks and find the women that got your eye earlier. That investment in time you just made standing outside is about to pay off!
8) If a fight or confrontation does break out, avoid it completely. When you are asked by your new friends why you did not intervene, casually mention that it is not legal because you are now drinking and it would make the bar liable if you actually hurt someone with your MMA skills.
9) When you leave with a friend, be sure to tell the door guy that you'll see him the next day and that he should give you a call if he needs anything.
In any bar, bartenders get the most trim because drunk women like to have the option of free shots every now and then. Bouncers get their fair share because of their size and/or the perception that they know how to protect a woman. But door guys, who might also be bouncers, get the pick of the litter because they are actually meeting women outside BEFORE they get hammered. If they can attract them then, they will have no problem after the women have had a few.
It's very difficult to get a piece of the bartender or bouncer action unless you actually get a job doing those things, so let's take the easy route and talk about how to pose as a door guy for easy access to tuna.
1) Get to know guys that work at the door of clubs and bars. Befriend them and tip them generously, in order to get them on your side of this adventure. You can choose to tell them what you're up to if you think they'll be O.K. with it.
2) Buy a t-shirts from the establishment and wear it when you are not at the bar, laying the groundwork for the perception that you have something to do with the bar.
3) Hang out near, but not too close to, the door. Fold your arms to giving the appearance that you are helping out.
4) Smile at every lady that sparks your interest and give them an approving nod and a smile. The perception of power that this action conveys is a powerful attractant, even to women who are not insecure.
5) Ignore people who try to hand you their ID's and point to the actual door guy, as if you're too cool to check IDs.
6) Give restrained handshakes and greeting to friends, as if you are working and you are worried about the boss firing you for seeming unprofessional.
7) Once the place is hopping, go inside and have a few drinks and find the women that got your eye earlier. That investment in time you just made standing outside is about to pay off!
8) If a fight or confrontation does break out, avoid it completely. When you are asked by your new friends why you did not intervene, casually mention that it is not legal because you are now drinking and it would make the bar liable if you actually hurt someone with your MMA skills.
9) When you leave with a friend, be sure to tell the door guy that you'll see him the next day and that he should give you a call if he needs anything.
Where To Drink - Barbary Coast - Downtown Wilmington
http://www.myspace.com/the_barbary
We're not fans of the new Barbary Coast motto. Frankly, upping the standards is something that should not have to be said. It would have been simpler to change the name in order to tell your customers that you have entered a new era. But when you are Wilmington's oldest bar, as we are constantly reminded from their ads, it's smart to preserve the name for the sake of nostalgia.
The bar was immortalized in David Lynch's seminal film about the underbelly of small town America, Blue Velvet. Lynch choose the place because it was so seedy, and the appearance of the bar in the film probably attracted even more assholes than it already had. Today's story is that they kicked out most of the drunken old regulars (the type of pirate personality that gave the place a bad reputation) and now cater to the young, hip crowd that has been making downtown their domain. While we have nothing against that, we still raise our eyebrows every time we read this new motto because it does not do what mottos are supposed to do: give a feeling of fun, enjoyment, and relaxation. It makes you wonder how high their standards are, if you fit it, and why you shouldn't just keep walking.
It's the fucking Barbary, man. It's the basis of the story Wilmington mom's tell their kids if they don't want them to grow up to be drinkers. That type of ingrained fear can never be overcome. The place is named after the home base area of Berber white-slave traders that raided European coastal towns and sent over a million slaves to Morroco and Algeria, while making the coasts of Spain and Italy desolate from fear well into the 19th century. It's also the name of San Fransisco's red light district during the gold rush of the 1850s.
With that said, it is really nice to walk into the Barbary Coast without worrying about getting stabbed. Yeah, you're still on guard against imaginary threats of violence, but that's only if you know about the bar's rough and tumble past. Most of the other bars (and the streets) in downtown are far more dangerous than the tone-downed Barbary these days, but the ghosts of the past still hover and whisper in your ear.
New floor, clean walls, decent bathrooms, and new ashtrays are only some of the upgrades from last year that are now finally worn in. There are exceptional collectibles on the walls that have remained from the old days. The pirate theme has been maintained with several nods to progress and the 21st century, like numerous flat screen TVs to watch sports or FuelTV. There are over 100 beers available (YES!), as well as mixed drinks.
The outdoor patio that was highly touted when they reopened is really not that big a deal. It's tiny, but it will come in handy for smokers when January comes around. There are two pool tables and...HOLY SHIT!...a real dartboard, with very good quality darts! Is that really so hard? And you don't even have to pay for it. We love free darts. There's also a foolsball table...Sorry, that's fooseball.
The bartender mentioned that the last couple of weeks have been good for business, so whether we like or dislike that douchey motto has nothing to do with their continued success. And that's the way it should be. Young, black president... Young college people at the renewed Barbary Coast... What a time we live in. What a time. Go and enjoy.
We're not fans of the new Barbary Coast motto. Frankly, upping the standards is something that should not have to be said. It would have been simpler to change the name in order to tell your customers that you have entered a new era. But when you are Wilmington's oldest bar, as we are constantly reminded from their ads, it's smart to preserve the name for the sake of nostalgia.
The bar was immortalized in David Lynch's seminal film about the underbelly of small town America, Blue Velvet. Lynch choose the place because it was so seedy, and the appearance of the bar in the film probably attracted even more assholes than it already had. Today's story is that they kicked out most of the drunken old regulars (the type of pirate personality that gave the place a bad reputation) and now cater to the young, hip crowd that has been making downtown their domain. While we have nothing against that, we still raise our eyebrows every time we read this new motto because it does not do what mottos are supposed to do: give a feeling of fun, enjoyment, and relaxation. It makes you wonder how high their standards are, if you fit it, and why you shouldn't just keep walking.
It's the fucking Barbary, man. It's the basis of the story Wilmington mom's tell their kids if they don't want them to grow up to be drinkers. That type of ingrained fear can never be overcome. The place is named after the home base area of Berber white-slave traders that raided European coastal towns and sent over a million slaves to Morroco and Algeria, while making the coasts of Spain and Italy desolate from fear well into the 19th century. It's also the name of San Fransisco's red light district during the gold rush of the 1850s.
With that said, it is really nice to walk into the Barbary Coast without worrying about getting stabbed. Yeah, you're still on guard against imaginary threats of violence, but that's only if you know about the bar's rough and tumble past. Most of the other bars (and the streets) in downtown are far more dangerous than the tone-downed Barbary these days, but the ghosts of the past still hover and whisper in your ear.
New floor, clean walls, decent bathrooms, and new ashtrays are only some of the upgrades from last year that are now finally worn in. There are exceptional collectibles on the walls that have remained from the old days. The pirate theme has been maintained with several nods to progress and the 21st century, like numerous flat screen TVs to watch sports or FuelTV. There are over 100 beers available (YES!), as well as mixed drinks.
The outdoor patio that was highly touted when they reopened is really not that big a deal. It's tiny, but it will come in handy for smokers when January comes around. There are two pool tables and...HOLY SHIT!...a real dartboard, with very good quality darts! Is that really so hard? And you don't even have to pay for it. We love free darts. There's also a foolsball table...Sorry, that's fooseball.
The bartender mentioned that the last couple of weeks have been good for business, so whether we like or dislike that douchey motto has nothing to do with their continued success. And that's the way it should be. Young, black president... Young college people at the renewed Barbary Coast... What a time we live in. What a time. Go and enjoy.
T.J. Hooker Is Coming!
Everyone loves cops, and T.J. Hooker is the most lovable cop of all time. We can't wait for the feature film. Here's the first installment of TJ's best lines courtesy of http://www.tv.com/T.J.+Hooker
Hooker: (after quizzing suspect) Get away from me, before I book you just for practice.
Hooker: If you think of anything else, call me. (cops leave)
Turlow: Don't count on it.
Hooker: (to FBI agents) Either of you get in my way again, you're going to need a flashlight and forceps to find your badges.
Corrigan: You know, you could learn to be a tad more diplomatic with [Cpt. Danza].
Hooker: I'm taking up needlepoint; I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.
Senator Grayle: I've learned a heck of a lot from you. I'd like to be team-mates with you again.
Hooker: I've learned a lot too, Stuart. I prefer the streets, they're clean.
Nembutsu: You're a dead man. I promise you.
Hooker: I'm easy to find.
Stacy: He's a friend, and he needs protection.
Hooker: And you need a tan, right?
Stacy: Exactly. Was there something you wanted to say?
Hooker: Pack your bikini, blue eyes.
Hooker: You're pressing it, Stacy.
Stacy: I thought Karen was the psychiatrist?Hooker: She's got the diploma, I've got the streets.
Karen: What you got in there?
Hooker: An uzi, and a hostage. It's good to see you again.
Mr. Huntman: Sergeant, back off! Do you know who this little party is for? The mayor—a little fundraiser for his re-election. Push me, you push him. Get the point?
Hooker: If I have to, I'll push the both of you, to Hell and back—count on it.
Beaman: (on the model) Young of course, but she knows her way around, if you know what I mean. Very co-operative.
Hooker: I'm sure she is, just like you, Mr. Beaman.
Beaman: Yes, well... I do have to get back to work.
Hooker: Thanks for your help.
Stacy: (as Beaman makes a quick exit) I guess he means well.
Hooker: So do street pimps.
(Stacy is dressed extremely sexily)
Hooker: Salary scales are great. But there's a departmental ruling against moonlighting.
Hooker: (after shooting to kill) He wouldn't stop. He's dead.
Corrigan: You didn't kill him. He died a long time ago.
Hooker: I want to put someone inside the local porn business.(everyone looks at Stacy)
Lester: Are you as good as you look?
Stacy: Last I heard, I'm better.
Hooker: (on fleeing perp's car) Hit the brakes, or I'll take your head off!(about to question models)
Hooker: They're all yours.
Romano: (mock sighs) My kind of suspects.
Barbara Canton: This is Vince.
Girls: Ohhhhhhhhhh.
Romano: Thank you, ladies. The feeling is mutual.
Romano: Hey, Hooker, where she supposed to wear her wire?
Stacy: In my trick bag. An out callgirl never parts with her trick bag. And don't get any ideas about helping me on with it. It's fine just where it is.
April: You're a terrific cop, Hooker. I'm not anxious to die with you either.
(Teri draws something she saw on one of the crooks)
Teri: There. Another clue.
Hooker: You're real good, you know.
Teri: You're right, I am. And smart too. You know why?
Hooker: Why?
Teri: I won't have that drink with you.
Hooker: I didn't ask.
Teri: Ah, that's what makes you... only half smart, sarge.
(on an uncooperative witness)
Hooker: Maybe you'd get more out of him if you laid on a little charm.
Dani: You mean, 'bat my baby blue eyes and flirt.' Why the hell don't you try?
Hooker: I would if I had your equipment.
Dani: Right, nice to know you aren't a chauvanist.
Hooker: (after quizzing suspect) Get away from me, before I book you just for practice.
Hooker: If you think of anything else, call me. (cops leave)
Turlow: Don't count on it.
Hooker: (to FBI agents) Either of you get in my way again, you're going to need a flashlight and forceps to find your badges.
Corrigan: You know, you could learn to be a tad more diplomatic with [Cpt. Danza].
Hooker: I'm taking up needlepoint; I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.
Senator Grayle: I've learned a heck of a lot from you. I'd like to be team-mates with you again.
Hooker: I've learned a lot too, Stuart. I prefer the streets, they're clean.
Nembutsu: You're a dead man. I promise you.
Hooker: I'm easy to find.
Stacy: He's a friend, and he needs protection.
Hooker: And you need a tan, right?
Stacy: Exactly. Was there something you wanted to say?
Hooker: Pack your bikini, blue eyes.
Hooker: You're pressing it, Stacy.
Stacy: I thought Karen was the psychiatrist?Hooker: She's got the diploma, I've got the streets.
Karen: What you got in there?
Hooker: An uzi, and a hostage. It's good to see you again.
Mr. Huntman: Sergeant, back off! Do you know who this little party is for? The mayor—a little fundraiser for his re-election. Push me, you push him. Get the point?
Hooker: If I have to, I'll push the both of you, to Hell and back—count on it.
Beaman: (on the model) Young of course, but she knows her way around, if you know what I mean. Very co-operative.
Hooker: I'm sure she is, just like you, Mr. Beaman.
Beaman: Yes, well... I do have to get back to work.
Hooker: Thanks for your help.
Stacy: (as Beaman makes a quick exit) I guess he means well.
Hooker: So do street pimps.
(Stacy is dressed extremely sexily)
Hooker: Salary scales are great. But there's a departmental ruling against moonlighting.
Hooker: (after shooting to kill) He wouldn't stop. He's dead.
Corrigan: You didn't kill him. He died a long time ago.
Hooker: I want to put someone inside the local porn business.(everyone looks at Stacy)
Lester: Are you as good as you look?
Stacy: Last I heard, I'm better.
Hooker: (on fleeing perp's car) Hit the brakes, or I'll take your head off!(about to question models)
Hooker: They're all yours.
Romano: (mock sighs) My kind of suspects.
Barbara Canton: This is Vince.
Girls: Ohhhhhhhhhh.
Romano: Thank you, ladies. The feeling is mutual.
Romano: Hey, Hooker, where she supposed to wear her wire?
Stacy: In my trick bag. An out callgirl never parts with her trick bag. And don't get any ideas about helping me on with it. It's fine just where it is.
April: You're a terrific cop, Hooker. I'm not anxious to die with you either.
(Teri draws something she saw on one of the crooks)
Teri: There. Another clue.
Hooker: You're real good, you know.
Teri: You're right, I am. And smart too. You know why?
Hooker: Why?
Teri: I won't have that drink with you.
Hooker: I didn't ask.
Teri: Ah, that's what makes you... only half smart, sarge.
(on an uncooperative witness)
Hooker: Maybe you'd get more out of him if you laid on a little charm.
Dani: You mean, 'bat my baby blue eyes and flirt.' Why the hell don't you try?
Hooker: I would if I had your equipment.
Dani: Right, nice to know you aren't a chauvanist.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Where To Eat And Drink - Circa 1922 - Downtown Wilmington
http://www.circa1922.com/
It is so easy to dismiss Circa as THE snob eatery of Wilmington, NC. This is Ash Aziz's flagship location; his other places have a bit more of a laid back feel. It's been around for many years, and the clientele is a mix of lawyers, doctors, developers, and other members of the local aristocracy. Those people bring their friends and family there to impress them because, let's face it, the place is very impressive.
When you walk in, the first thing that hits you is size of the ceilings. Then the magnificence of the bar is the next thing that catches your eye. Dark, stained wood frame mirrored shelves that hold an impressive selection of liquors. The MacCallan 18, please. There are also a few beers on tap, including Guinness and Hefferveisen. Most people opt for a table, but we like to head straight for the bar, where you can get your food and drink quickly with a nod to one of the superb bartenders.
We will probably never say this about another restaurant as long as this site is up and running, but you really can't go wrong with ordering any of the food at Circa. It's all good, baby. You know sometimes when you ask a server what is good on the menu, and the reply is that everything is great? That's usually a lie. Not so at Circa. Lamb Shanks came with snobbed-up grits. Great. Calmari was ordered to go with the Eggplant Rollantine. Fantastic. Sushi? If you like it, have it here. We could go on, but it would be best if you get your ass in there and start ordering stuff.
At about 8 PM an older woman will roll up and start playing some tunes on the piano. She will be joined over the next hour by the rest of the jazz ensemble that will play well-worn, comfortable tunes until closing; there's no better way to enjoy food and drinks. The staff is exceptional and are probably the most highly trained and professional in town. They know their wines, and they are very helpful with suggestion.
So, you may well ask, isn't there ANYTHING you could find wrong in this place. Yes. The men's bathroom door upstairs slams, hard. It is loud as hell and very off-putting when you're trying to take a shit. Other than that, it must be repeated that Circa 1922 is tops in it's class, and probably classy enough for you and your friends.
It is so easy to dismiss Circa as THE snob eatery of Wilmington, NC. This is Ash Aziz's flagship location; his other places have a bit more of a laid back feel. It's been around for many years, and the clientele is a mix of lawyers, doctors, developers, and other members of the local aristocracy. Those people bring their friends and family there to impress them because, let's face it, the place is very impressive.
When you walk in, the first thing that hits you is size of the ceilings. Then the magnificence of the bar is the next thing that catches your eye. Dark, stained wood frame mirrored shelves that hold an impressive selection of liquors. The MacCallan 18, please. There are also a few beers on tap, including Guinness and Hefferveisen. Most people opt for a table, but we like to head straight for the bar, where you can get your food and drink quickly with a nod to one of the superb bartenders.
We will probably never say this about another restaurant as long as this site is up and running, but you really can't go wrong with ordering any of the food at Circa. It's all good, baby. You know sometimes when you ask a server what is good on the menu, and the reply is that everything is great? That's usually a lie. Not so at Circa. Lamb Shanks came with snobbed-up grits. Great. Calmari was ordered to go with the Eggplant Rollantine. Fantastic. Sushi? If you like it, have it here. We could go on, but it would be best if you get your ass in there and start ordering stuff.
At about 8 PM an older woman will roll up and start playing some tunes on the piano. She will be joined over the next hour by the rest of the jazz ensemble that will play well-worn, comfortable tunes until closing; there's no better way to enjoy food and drinks. The staff is exceptional and are probably the most highly trained and professional in town. They know their wines, and they are very helpful with suggestion.
So, you may well ask, isn't there ANYTHING you could find wrong in this place. Yes. The men's bathroom door upstairs slams, hard. It is loud as hell and very off-putting when you're trying to take a shit. Other than that, it must be repeated that Circa 1922 is tops in it's class, and probably classy enough for you and your friends.
Where To Drink - The Pour House - Downtown Wilmington
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wilmington-NC/The-Pour-House-Wilmington/110626543242
This place used to be the Underground Sandwich Shop, which everyone loved. Walking in there was a blast from the past since we were expecting to smell onions and roast beef. Our sense of smell was pleasantly surprised to get a whiff of a brand, spanking new interior. The space has been altered into a very cozy little bar to which you can escape all the noise and constant annoying chatter that permeates just about every other downtown bar. We would guess the place fits about 50-60 max., and sometimes that's just a better way to be, especially if you're trying to get drinks.
The night we were there some dude named Tom Rhodes was spanking the hell out of guitar and doing some nice variations on some rock songs. The small stage has live music most nights. They have Yuengling, Fat Tire, Blue Moon, Sam Adams Summer Ale, and Guinness on tap. They also have a nice selection of mixed drinks.
We love music, but sometimes what other people play on the jukebox is fuckin' annoying. It was really nice to have a respite away from the "clang, clang" of the downtown scene for a bit. We think that the location (at the corner of Front and Market) will serve the Pour House well, and we look forward to making it a regular stop on our bar hops.
This place used to be the Underground Sandwich Shop, which everyone loved. Walking in there was a blast from the past since we were expecting to smell onions and roast beef. Our sense of smell was pleasantly surprised to get a whiff of a brand, spanking new interior. The space has been altered into a very cozy little bar to which you can escape all the noise and constant annoying chatter that permeates just about every other downtown bar. We would guess the place fits about 50-60 max., and sometimes that's just a better way to be, especially if you're trying to get drinks.
The night we were there some dude named Tom Rhodes was spanking the hell out of guitar and doing some nice variations on some rock songs. The small stage has live music most nights. They have Yuengling, Fat Tire, Blue Moon, Sam Adams Summer Ale, and Guinness on tap. They also have a nice selection of mixed drinks.
We love music, but sometimes what other people play on the jukebox is fuckin' annoying. It was really nice to have a respite away from the "clang, clang" of the downtown scene for a bit. We think that the location (at the corner of Front and Market) will serve the Pour House well, and we look forward to making it a regular stop on our bar hops.
The Official World Series Of Beer Pong Tournament - 16 Taps - Tonight!
Beer pong, as played by frat robots and sorority hos all over the country, is a very disgusting game to play while drinking. The object is to get a ping-pong ball into the cup of the opposing team...and, who the fuck cares. Frankly, we prefer Strip Pong. Use your imagination, and the photos in this article, to make up the rules. It looks like grandma is winning!
If you have not been unfortunate enough to waste part of a keg on this ridiculous reason to drink beer (Flip-cup is equally asinine, by the way), then you can find out about the rules here: http://www.bpong.com/wsobp/official-rules-of-the-world-series-of-beer-pong
Ridiculous? Yes. But, hey! What's this? You can win four nights in Las Vegas in January and have a chance to win $50,000! O.K. We might give this thing a shot because no one loves the girls in Vegas more than us. If we win this competition we may just let the ladies play our round at what is sure to be a good time. Four nights in Vegas is the guaranteed shit, for any reason...even if it is for beer pong.
Instead of throwing the ball into the beer cups, you will be throwing it into cups filled with water, and then drinking from separate beer cups. Now that makes more sense than pretending that washing off the ball that just hit the ground is somehow sanitary.
After we win this thing in Vegas, we'll hire as many "entertainers" as $50,000 can buy, assuming we even make it down there tonight.
The Official World Series Of Beer Pong... Wow! You know you want to go there. It's way more fun than playing the game on your porch, in dim lighting, with people taking their clothes off. Whatever. We have to include a few more pics of Strip-Pong and start up a league.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Million Dollar Idea #2: A Television Program Titled "Surf and Turf"
The show would focus on the exploits of two undercover state police detectives working along the coast, specifically on maritime paranormal crime. Surf, the lead detective is a blond, former pro surfer who grew up in the area and knows everyone. Turf is a transplant and native Hawaiian who also surfs, but hates the NC coastline because "the only decent waves you howlie boys see is in a magazine when you're taking a dump."
Crime Scene Investigator: You guys are contaminating my crime scene.
Surf: No. We're stopping you from taking the items home for your sick little parties.
CSI: What are you talking about?
Turf: Even from three miles out we can see what you do at 2 AM. You like to leave your curtains open don't you?
CSI: What?
Surf: Go play shock the monkey, doucebag. We got it from here.
Turf: Get lost, Waldo.
The continuing growth of the popularity of surfing lends credence to this idea. The detectives would also be investigating crimes in the well-heeled neighborhoods of the Carolinas. Any crime that has to do with boats, drowning, surf board theft, and the like, would fall under their jurisdiction. They would also go on frequent camping trips to the mountains and run across crimes that need to be solved. They have a racing boat and a 26 footer that they use to pick up girls and entrap unwary bad guys. "Let's head back to the boat. We got some green and some white."
The Arrival - Surf meets his partner and takes an instant dislike to him after realizing it was Turf that cut in on his wave that morning.
Surf: "You have a real problem with the rules of the water, man."
Turf: "Your rules, not mine."
Captain Reynolds: "Knock it off you two. You're going to be partners.
Turf: "Your rules, not mine."
Captain Reynolds: "Knock it off you two. You're going to be partners.
Surf: "Since when did you and I decide to have an open relationship, captain?"
Groms' Wax Treat - Someone is killing groms with poison surf wax, and one murder hits Surf close to home because the victim is a cousin.
Surf: "No one deserves to die like that."
Turf: "Anyone sponsored by Red Bull does."
Surf: "He was my cousin!"
Turf: "Then you should have known who was sponsoring him!"
Bikini Neckties - Someone is strangling male surfers with bikini bottoms that have been worn, but the DNA doesn't match on any of the bottoms.Turf: "Anyone sponsored by Red Bull does."
Surf: "He was my cousin!"
Turf: "Then you should have known who was sponsoring him!"
Crime Scene Investigator: You guys are contaminating my crime scene.
Surf: No. We're stopping you from taking the items home for your sick little parties.
CSI: What are you talking about?
Turf: Even from three miles out we can see what you do at 2 AM. You like to leave your curtains open don't you?
CSI: What?
Surf: Go play shock the monkey, doucebag. We got it from here.
Turf: Get lost, Waldo.
Shark Week - After three shark fatalities in three days off Nags Head, Turf suspect foul play.
Turf: These bite marks are not consistent with any sharks we have in the area.
Surf: No, but they are consistent with that horse-face you brought back to the boat last week. Have you considered her involvement in this.
Turf - I have. We should talk to her next.
Turf: These bite marks are not consistent with any sharks we have in the area.
Surf: No, but they are consistent with that horse-face you brought back to the boat last week. Have you considered her involvement in this.
Turf - I have. We should talk to her next.
Red Dawn At High Tide - Turf is hit by a boat, while on his board, in the early morning and is seriously injured. The suspect is a redheaded beauty that Surf once dated.
Turf (In the hospital) - You know where she is don't you?
Surf: Maybe.
Turf: Then what are you waiting on? You need to arrest her.
Surf: I have to wait until sundown.
Turf: Why?
Surf: The hair. The hair gives her more strength in the daytime.
Turf (In the hospital) - You know where she is don't you?
Surf: Maybe.
Turf: Then what are you waiting on? You need to arrest her.
Surf: I have to wait until sundown.
Turf: Why?
Surf: The hair. The hair gives her more strength in the daytime.
Privileged To Disaster: When a yacht explodes, Turf suspects a faked death and shows up at the presumed victim's home to interview his spouse, only to find Surf already there with his shirt off.
Turf: You have a way of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How do you know this woman?
Surf: (pleadingly) I need about an hour to complete this interview, Turf.
Woman. You both can leave.
Turf: You be quiet, ma'am. The detective says he has a few more questions. Surf, I'll be at the bar. Call me when you get done here.
Surf: Thanks, Turf. You turned out to be a pretty good guy.
Turf: You would do the same for me. Please remember that.
Surf: (pleadingly) I need about an hour to complete this interview, Turf.
Woman. You both can leave.
Turf: You be quiet, ma'am. The detective says he has a few more questions. Surf, I'll be at the bar. Call me when you get done here.
Surf: Thanks, Turf. You turned out to be a pretty good guy.
Turf: You would do the same for me. Please remember that.
Where To Get Fish - Motts Channel Seafood
http://www.geocities.com/mottschannel/Information.htm
No boat? No fishing rod or spear gun? Hate cleaning fish but love to eat them? Then roll you fat ass over to Motts and get fresh catch anytime you are in the mood for seafood. The prices are very good for some of this stuff. One of the little secrets around here is that a lot of the restaurants get their seafood from Motts. So fire up the grill or stove and eat for less by cooking at home. It is really hard to fuck up cooking a fish, and since there is supposed to be a recession on, $20 will go a long way.
The location is easy to forget about since it is tucked way back past Old Causeway Drive. When you get there you'll be greeted by a lazy cat, and once inside the choices of frozen and fresh seafood are laid out in front of you. They have a nice selection of sauces and spices to go with fish, and you can always ask the very friendly staff for suggestions. There's great prices on oysters, and it is the best place to get live bait if you want to go to the trouble of catching fish.
Ask to smell the fish (fresh fish doesn't smell)
Fresh fillets should be shiny
Look at the edges of the fish (shouldn't have discoloration)
Ask a lot of questions ( when, where, how)
Whole fish (shiny eyes)
Live shellfish (no open or broken shells)
Enjoy!
Next: Action, Carolina Style!
Where To Drink - Banks Channel Pub and Grill
www.myspace.com/bankschannel
530 Causeway Drive Wrightsville Beach, NC 28480 910-256-2269
Banks Channel is the name of a waterway, and not such a clean one at that. "Are we going to Banks Channel?" causes confusion because people think that you want to go fishing or swimming.
We have tried several times to give this place a shot. The food and drink destination opened this winter with some fanfare and quickly died down to a lull during the summer. The reason for that, we think, is that the location is not well known outside of the beach. There has been a serious uptick in radio promotion recently (they are all over the Penguin), and the review in Star News was complimentary. The food reviews from the locals has been mixed. We decided to try it for ourselves, but we had already had some BBQ at a cookout and decided to just get the drink on.
What is it with all sourpuss bartenders around here. Damn. You are near the beach, man. Lighten the fuck up. Marketing research for bars should suggest that you hire women bartenders because men like that, and it makes women feel empowered that someone else is looking out for them. Simple.
Once we got over feeling that we were doing the dude a favor by walking in there, we started to relax and have a great time. The old Savannahs has been update with a new bar in the back and new furniture, but the feeling of nostalgia for the old place was still there. They still have the small bar upfront and the extra room on the side is now a game room. But where the fuck are big high definition TVs? We thought this was to be a sports bar. Sports are to be viewed in HD, on big screens--no excuses! That is why God invented it and that is what makes people happy. If whoever owns that place wants to stay in business, they had better get their shit together and spurge on some screens. What the hell?
Once we chilled out from that, it was time to get down to some drinking. It would seem that this is the place to be during this recession. The daily drink specials are awesome, so awesome that we stopped being annoyed and walked over to the game room that had a pool table, shuffleboard, and electronic darts. Who the fuck plays electric darts. Man, that shit blows chunks. A real dartboard--and you can charge to hand out the darts--would have been much more preferable. Then we looked at the shuffleboard and it had these metal rods sticking out of the middle to prevent you from using it without putting coins in. The best part is that one of the rods was missing. A game started up when we tried to get the weights through the gap in the rod, but then sourpuss came over and told us we would break it. A) It's not going to break. B) We are not paying to play shuffleboard when it is free at Kefi. Principles, man. Drunk principles.
Anyway, we played pool for a bit then realized that we actually like this place. The reason for that is that it is like our own little private bar here on the island. Since no one else goes there, it felt really good to be able to raise hell without annoying other patrons. It's as if you were living in a mansion and you invited your friends over and you all hung out in the game room of the house. Perfect. That might not be the best thing for a new bar to deal with, but we loved it.
We took a quick look at the menu and thought that some of the food was just a bit too strange sounding for us to try. We'll give the food another shot when we're good and hungry. We are also interested in going back and checking ou the live music on the weekend.We'll see how that goes.
http://www.starnewsonline.com/article/20090722/ARTICLES/907224002/0/NEWS?Title=Restaurant-review-Banks-Channel-elevates-simple-bar-food-classics
Next: It's Getting Fishy Up At Motts
Where To Drink - The Whiskey - Downtown Wilmington
http://www.myspace.com/wilmingtonwhiskey
Next: Banks Channel Is An Ill-Advised Name For a Restaurant
There are are quite a few places to hear live music in downtown Wilmington; there is none as intimate and friendly as the Whiskey. It has new owners, but the quality of the bands has gotten even better. There is live music throughout the week, and their Myspace page shows a wide variety of music taste that is young, hip, and way cool.
You could miss it as you walk past the corner Market and Front streets. Once inside, you'll find the space to be deceptively small, but once the night gets going you''ll see that it fits a good size crowd. And it is the size of the place that helps the tremendous acoustics once the bands get going.
They didn't name it The Whiskey for nothin'; there is a great selection of the stuff, and the drinks are made to get you nice and loaded. We don't know anyone who has ever complained about weak drinks at this place. They have Fat Tire, Magic Hat, Guiness and Blue Moon on tap. The crowd is good mix of UNCW, surfer, and downtown rocker. Everyone gets along, and we have rarely fights there, which is not typical of most downtown venues.
If you have not been there before, or not in a while, you need to acquaint yourself with the Whiskey. Tell Andrew that the Wrightsville Beach Bums sent you, and you will get charged exactly what you would have been charged otherwise.Next: Banks Channel Is An Ill-Advised Name For a Restaurant
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Racial Profile Summit - A Tipping Point...In the History Of Beer
It keeps getting weirder...
"The President will drink Bud Light. As I understand it -- I have not heard this, I've read this, so I'll just repeat what I've read, that Professor Gates said he liked Red Stripe, and I believe Sergeant Crowley mentioned to the President that he liked Blue Moon. So we'll have the gamut covered tomorrow afternoon. I think we're still thinking, weather permitting, the picnic table out back." - Spokesman
Let's TRY to parody how this unfunny photo-op now occupying the national focus, while his own party fucks him over on the health care initiative, may have unfolded:
Obama: I think I'll be having the Framboise Lambic. Michelle and I often enjoy that on our date nights.
Chief of Staff: Most American drink crap beer like Bud Light. That's what you'll have to maintain your everyman, every nationality public face.
Obama: O.K. Sounds good.
Gates: To show my unity with my black brothers oppressed all over the world, I'm drinking the stubby Red Stripe, mon. Power to the people!.. Who actually owns the brewery?
Crowly: I gotta' keep my wits about me and drink Blue Moon, but I'm bringing my flask of scotch for after I split. Hope I don't have to take this guy down again.
Bush Jr.: What the hell! You told me no alchohol has ever been allowed in the White House, Lara!
Have fun drinking beer, gentlemen. We will try to do the same. (Cough)
Next: Have Some Whiskey That Beer
"The President will drink Bud Light. As I understand it -- I have not heard this, I've read this, so I'll just repeat what I've read, that Professor Gates said he liked Red Stripe, and I believe Sergeant Crowley mentioned to the President that he liked Blue Moon. So we'll have the gamut covered tomorrow afternoon. I think we're still thinking, weather permitting, the picnic table out back." - Spokesman
Let's TRY to parody how this unfunny photo-op now occupying the national focus, while his own party fucks him over on the health care initiative, may have unfolded:
Obama: I think I'll be having the Framboise Lambic. Michelle and I often enjoy that on our date nights.
Chief of Staff: Most American drink crap beer like Bud Light. That's what you'll have to maintain your everyman, every nationality public face.
Obama: O.K. Sounds good.
Gates: To show my unity with my black brothers oppressed all over the world, I'm drinking the stubby Red Stripe, mon. Power to the people!.. Who actually owns the brewery?
Crowly: I gotta' keep my wits about me and drink Blue Moon, but I'm bringing my flask of scotch for after I split. Hope I don't have to take this guy down again.
Bush Jr.: What the hell! You told me no alchohol has ever been allowed in the White House, Lara!
Have fun drinking beer, gentlemen. We will try to do the same. (Cough)
Next: Have Some Whiskey That Beer
Where To Have Desert - Original Ice Cream Stand At Wrightsville Beach
3 N. Lumina Avenue Between WB Supply Company and Red Dogs 910-520-2122
We failed at hating on cupcakes. We won't try to hate on ice cream. We'll just drop the hardcore exterior facade and say that ice cream is another universal crowd-pleaser. This outdoor "I scream" stand has been in this location for over ten years, and every summer it is mobbed by children and grateful parents, and by adults that are craving the afternoon or after-dinner desert treat.
The waffle cone is big enough to fit two over-sized scoops. The chocolate shake is the best milkshake seller, and the strawberry-banana flavor is tops in the smoothie category. There are also a few flavors of Italian Ice available.
http://www.zingersicecream.com/history.htm has pretty much all you need to know about this concoction, including this interesting bit of info:
Give credit to Nancy Johnson. In 1847 she developed the first hand-crank ice cream maker, and despite what you might read elsewhere, received a patent for it. Much of the confusion (and lack of credit) to Ms. Johnson comes from the fact that she sold her rights to William Young for just $200 (still a pretty good sum in those days). He at least had the courtesy to call the machine the “Johnson Patent Ice-Cream Freezer.”
So if you feel the need to find a sweet treat on a warm summers day or night, you can head down to Lumina Avenue and enjoy the warm air on the stand's long bench, or you can pick up some to rush back to the house and slurp.
We failed at hating on cupcakes. We won't try to hate on ice cream. We'll just drop the hardcore exterior facade and say that ice cream is another universal crowd-pleaser. This outdoor "I scream" stand has been in this location for over ten years, and every summer it is mobbed by children and grateful parents, and by adults that are craving the afternoon or after-dinner desert treat.
The waffle cone is big enough to fit two over-sized scoops. The chocolate shake is the best milkshake seller, and the strawberry-banana flavor is tops in the smoothie category. There are also a few flavors of Italian Ice available.
http://www.zingersicecream.com/history.htm has pretty much all you need to know about this concoction, including this interesting bit of info:
Give credit to Nancy Johnson. In 1847 she developed the first hand-crank ice cream maker, and despite what you might read elsewhere, received a patent for it. Much of the confusion (and lack of credit) to Ms. Johnson comes from the fact that she sold her rights to William Young for just $200 (still a pretty good sum in those days). He at least had the courtesy to call the machine the “Johnson Patent Ice-Cream Freezer.”
So if you feel the need to find a sweet treat on a warm summers day or night, you can head down to Lumina Avenue and enjoy the warm air on the stand's long bench, or you can pick up some to rush back to the house and slurp.
Next: Less Talky, More Drinky
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Where To Have Coffee - Port City Java - Lumina Station
http://www.portcityjava.com/
No. We are not saying that you avoid what was once a proud, local bean roaster that quickly turned into a giant corporation that shamelessly bled it's workers and customers for the sake of the almighty profit. The allegations and counter allegations that nearly brought the company to it's knees last year are simply the visible scars that were revealed to the public. The drama is detailed below:
http://www.wwaytv3.com/taxonomy/term/1200/allButytv3.com/taxonomy/term/1200/all
But WAY before that, there were signals that all was not well with the brand. It was being broadcast from the front line of the company's true customer relations department: it's workers. At the time, the company did not care about anything but the day's receipts.
According to the employees, their pay was low and they relied on tips to supplement a barely reasonable income; that made them resentful of customers who are not good tippers. They did not get overtime for Christmas hours or any holiday hours that they worked. The stores were constantly under pressure to perform better than last quarter by any means, while the continued expansion of new store (even internationally) continued to build the face of the brand and not the infrastructure.
We have always been skeptical of their Fairganic campaign, which purports to help poor coffee farmers, as just another ploy by a big-ass corporation to make you feel less guilty about the coffee-sustained despots in Third World countries that you are supporting by paying $4 for a fuckin' latte. The new president of the company pitches the case for Fairganic here: http://www.welcome-mag.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=7041&Itemid=31
No. We are not saying that you avoid what was once a proud, local bean roaster that quickly turned into a giant corporation that shamelessly bled it's workers and customers for the sake of the almighty profit. The allegations and counter allegations that nearly brought the company to it's knees last year are simply the visible scars that were revealed to the public. The drama is detailed below:
http://www.wwaytv3.com/taxonomy/term/1200/allButytv3.com/taxonomy/term/1200/all
But WAY before that, there were signals that all was not well with the brand. It was being broadcast from the front line of the company's true customer relations department: it's workers. At the time, the company did not care about anything but the day's receipts.
According to the employees, their pay was low and they relied on tips to supplement a barely reasonable income; that made them resentful of customers who are not good tippers. They did not get overtime for Christmas hours or any holiday hours that they worked. The stores were constantly under pressure to perform better than last quarter by any means, while the continued expansion of new store (even internationally) continued to build the face of the brand and not the infrastructure.
We have always been skeptical of their Fairganic campaign, which purports to help poor coffee farmers, as just another ploy by a big-ass corporation to make you feel less guilty about the coffee-sustained despots in Third World countries that you are supporting by paying $4 for a fuckin' latte. The new president of the company pitches the case for Fairganic here: http://www.welcome-mag.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=7041&Itemid=31
Let's take care of your poor American employees first, buddy. Then you can start worrying about farmers who don't even know where there coffee goes once it hits the market.
With a new leadership in place, and a fresh promise to address the needs and suggestions of employees and customers, we wish Port City the very best on their new lease on business life.
-----------------------
Anyway. The Port City Java at Lumina Station is the jewel of the franchise. There is really nothing about the inside of the store that differentiates it from the others. Actually, it has a more cramped interior than most of the other locations. What makes this one special is that it is located in the manicured garden jubilee that is Lumina Station. You can should get your coffee and sit outside and enjoy a cool breeze in the shade. The tall trees , flowers, and the privacy of the raised bed planters that face the parking lot, add a special feel to an outdoor seating area that is unmatched by any other coffee space in town. The people watching experience is also awesome. Just about everyone that works at Lumina Station will drop in for coffee throughout the morning, and we have seen some high-powered informal meetings take place in which million dollar homes changed hands thanks to Intracoastal Realty, which is located next door.
The Landfill regulars, and the daytime shoppers, also add to the exclusive feel of this location. It is a great place to bring children and a friendly dog to have a relaxing coffee break. We never liked the food at Port City Java. You could have the bagels or maybe a muffin, but the wraps, sandwiches, and other prepared foods were a disaster that needed to be fixed. Try the new sandwich selection to see if there has been improvement. We're a bit gun-shy after trying items from the previous menu, so you need to find out for yourself and give your feedback. And, we are not big fans of their coffee, which is better than Starbucks, but still not that great. However, there are no shortage of loyal customers that strongly disagree with that assessment. (This run-on paragraph was hastily written while hopped up on coffee.)
Next: Ice Cream, Blacula. Ice Cream.
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