http://collegecandy.com/2009/06/16/time-to-reconsider-sex-on-the-beach/Never mind the above reasons. It's a warm summers night, there's a bright moon, there's a bottle of wine, some buddha trees, and a hot body. You know what comes next: a hot make-out session, some hand-on-skin action, some skinny dipping, some fingers-on-organs action, and then maybe the home run. This would be the romantic experience to tell all your friends about for years to come. This would be fun for anyone anywhere else--except on the beach.
1 - The cops will roll up on your naked ass and bust you for public indecency. And if they really want to be jerks, they'll push for you to be registered as a flasher which could lead to your being on the registered sex offender list for the rest of your life! That guy or girl you were going after had better be very good at something for you to earn the designation that makes you the legal equivalent of a child rapist. That should be enough to convince you to not have sex on the beach , but there's more...
2 - Sand. It's one of the most hard to deal with substances on earth because the granules might be microscopic and it gets into everything, including the naughty bits. So even if you do happen to get to the fornication part of the encounter the experience may be similar to rubbing your gonads against sandpaper; that's no fun unless you are a real freak. Are you?
3 - No See 'Ums. Actually, you CAN see 'um, they are white, they bite a lot, they're are a lot of 'um, and DEET doesn't seem to help get rid of 'um. These tiny insect will bite every expos
ed bit of skin they can find all night long. Add in the mosquitoes and other assorted biting insects, and the fact that you forgot your fly net, and you are in for some extra bumps besides the ones you get from your partner.4 - Passersby might want to join in the fun. Yeah, there's something about being cheeky and heightening your orgasm with the prospect of being "discovered" by unwary tourists. There's also the downside of
running into drunken frat boys or beach wingnuts who might want to have a little fun wit' yo' date. Weirder things have happened around here that have gone unreported.5 - Be wary of people who only want to have sex with the lights off and the covers on. There are the secrets that are being hidden by darkness that can run the gamut from Cesarean scar to cutting scars to cigarette burns to artificial leg to sex-change operation to who the hell knows what. Your chances of not being unpleasantly surprised by something scary are better with the lights on and the sun up.
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