http://www.wingsbeachwear.com/store_locator_2.php
There are about 28 of these stores across the country, and we are lucky to have one of them right here at WB. There are 7 others spread up and down the coast of NC. A lot of people knock Wings for being a cheap, chintzy, tourist trap store that epitomizes the corporate takeover of small beach towns--a salt water version of Wal-Mart. We say, great! Everyone loves souvenirs like shot glasses and coffee mugs and t-shirts and...stuff with the name of the town they are visiting painted on it. Locals can even send this crap to their friends and relatives for a fraction of the price of a more expensive and considerate gift.
The store at WB is huge and has everything you could possibly need for your beach experience. The website does not begin to describe the sheer amount of (probably)
Chinese slave labor produced items and (probably) Central American sweatshop textile and clothing items that will be held as valuable mementos of your great time on the beach.You might think this article is dripping with sarcasm, but this time you are wrong! This is what America is all about--progress. There is no way our sons and daughters should be working under the conditions that (probably) exist to make this...stuff. Those types of labor practices were outlawed in the '30s. Its far better that filthy factories (and people) make this...stuff overseas and ship them to us after they have (probably) been cleaned of the lead and other toxins that would be polluting American streams and rivers. Hells yeah! Big ups to Jaingsu, China for helping Americans live a little longer.
The store is very brightly lit, even in the daytime, so that you can see even the tiniest items on the bottom shelves. It is not a good idea to walk in there in the morning after a night out and see yourself in one of the full length mirrors (Is that a stain on your chin?). The place is lit like a salon, so pretty yourself up before you walk in. And you should also try to not go there when it isn't packed because the thin aisles will have you doing a lot of unintentional rubbing past the other shoppers. Come to think of it, that benefit is not featured on their website.
Like the rest of the island, there is very little parking available, so it is advised that you park elsewhere and walk to the WB location on very busy weekends.
Alright, then. You are ready to stock up on everything you (probably) don't need for your vacation here at beautiful Fantasy Island, all in one place. All that's left is to wish you a pleasant time and to say a prayer for all the little dead Chinese babies and another prayer that the owners of Wings, and any other similar pollution subsidizing enterprise, do everything within their power to minimize the rate of their murderous greed. It's the best we can do as consumers.
*****Note: Google's algorithm is on point! The really fucked up thing is that as soon as this article was posted, an advertisement on these pages appeared for ADOPTION AGENCIES, presumably for (probably) defective kids.
Next: Duck Soup
