The banks are failing. It is impossible to get a loan for even the very best business ideas that are guaranteed to make millions. That's why every week or so we will broadcast a really good idea in the hopes that one of the rich fucks that we bashed in the last article for dumping their shit in Banks Channel will invest a million dollars in venture capital. We will then proceed to use that money as collateral on a loan for 10 million dollars, which the bank will be happy to give us because of the collateral, then we'll spend 9 million dollars in salaries and bonuses in the first year, use the original million to have a seminar in Australia and then get around to putting the idea into play with what is left--like $10,000.
We plan on making that first million back within the first five years through franchising and offshooting the original concept to North Korean businessmen who will debut Puppy Frozen Morsels.com. This will be the best way to deal with the canine overpopulation issue that plagues the U.S. while North Kor
eans starve for food. Mutually and Culturally Beneficial - For A Better World is the working slogan right now.
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http://www.dailypuppy.com/
Loop Puppy Rental Service, Inc. will provide puppies no more than six months old to be used by prospective clients for the purpose of walking the Nesbitt Loop between sunrise and sunset from March to October. The general concept is to use the puppies as what can be called a "dating aid."
The puppies, or "product" as we may also refer to them, will be fitted with a GPS collar to relay the status of their location and they will also be fitted with an RF microchip for easy identification.
No more that thirty puppies will be stored at the pickup location at any one time. Prospective clients (who we may also refer to as "Johns") will need to provide proper identification and a valid credit card.
The charge for this service shall be $30 for the first half hour and $15 for each additional 15 minutes. This provides an additional savings of zero.
We understand that some have dubbed this business model "puppy prostitution." We would like to assure our prospective investors that we have nothing but the highest regard for the well-being and best health of our "product" and our "Johns." We will provide referrals for standard distemper and rabies tests to our clients in order to ensure proper health and continued use of our services. This business model has less to do with prostitution and more to do with making clients happy and providing a way for them to meet other singles (or m
arried people) with a singular similar interest--puppies.
The John Nesbitt Loop is a high-traffic area where plenty of attractive people congregate every day. The addition of a cute puppy to an otherwise boring face or out-of-shape body may be the spark that initiates a bond between two people that lasts a lifetime. Please consider helping us bring this essential service to the benefit of lonely people and lonely puppies at Wrightsville Beach.
The lawyer said we had to put in this part.
Disclaimer: All puppies, which were gained under the premise of being "fostered" for four months, will be turned in to ASPCA at six months old or when they considered no longer cute enough. We understand and accept that said puppies will be euthanized if they are not adopted after one week, and further that pitbull puppies and pitbull mixes will be euthanized right away, as they are considered to be unadoptable.
Next: Red Bumps
We plan on making that first million back within the first five years through franchising and offshooting the original concept to North Korean businessmen who will debut Puppy Frozen Morsels.com. This will be the best way to deal with the canine overpopulation issue that plagues the U.S. while North Kor
eans starve for food. Mutually and Culturally Beneficial - For A Better World is the working slogan right now.--------------------
http://www.dailypuppy.com/
Loop Puppy Rental Service, Inc. will provide puppies no more than six months old to be used by prospective clients for the purpose of walking the Nesbitt Loop between sunrise and sunset from March to October. The general concept is to use the puppies as what can be called a "dating aid."
The puppies, or "product" as we may also refer to them, will be fitted with a GPS collar to relay the status of their location and they will also be fitted with an RF microchip for easy identification.
No more that thirty puppies will be stored at the pickup location at any one time. Prospective clients (who we may also refer to as "Johns") will need to provide proper identification and a valid credit card.
The charge for this service shall be $30 for the first half hour and $15 for each additional 15 minutes. This provides an additional savings of zero.
We understand that some have dubbed this business model "puppy prostitution." We would like to assure our prospective investors that we have nothing but the highest regard for the well-being and best health of our "product" and our "Johns." We will provide referrals for standard distemper and rabies tests to our clients in order to ensure proper health and continued use of our services. This business model has less to do with prostitution and more to do with making clients happy and providing a way for them to meet other singles (or m
arried people) with a singular similar interest--puppies.The John Nesbitt Loop is a high-traffic area where plenty of attractive people congregate every day. The addition of a cute puppy to an otherwise boring face or out-of-shape body may be the spark that initiates a bond between two people that lasts a lifetime. Please consider helping us bring this essential service to the benefit of lonely people and lonely puppies at Wrightsville Beach.
The lawyer said we had to put in this part.
Disclaimer: All puppies, which were gained under the premise of being "fostered" for four months, will be turned in to ASPCA at six months old or when they considered no longer cute enough. We understand and accept that said puppies will be euthanized if they are not adopted after one week, and further that pitbull puppies and pitbull mixes will be euthanized right away, as they are considered to be unadoptable.
Next: Red Bumps
