Disclaimer: The following is in no way legal advise, and if you think it is there is something wrong with you that being arrested won't fix or you obviously have not read the other posts. This list of scenarios is for entertainment purposes only.
It's going to happen sooner or later. No matter who you are, or how well you behave, you will get caught in the web. There are ways to do it right and ways to make it worse. Here's a few simple rules that can make the experience less painful. Assuming you're not too messed up to remember them, and the bondsman trusts you, you should be out in no time--crying like a baby and psychologically damaged for life.
1 - Always carry the business cards of a bail bondsman and a lawyer on your person at all times. When you are at the WB police station, try to use the phone to contact both parties so your time at the county sheriffs lockup will be as short as possible. Having prepaid legal services is also a good way to have a sense of security about the whole situation.
2 - Know who you are dealing with. You can't talk to cops if they are jacked up and in your face with the taser at the ready. Sometimes it's just better to be quite, or rat on your friends, if your explanation doesn't seem to be going well enough. "May I go?" is a good way to end a conversation if it doesn't seem to be helping you; just expect that the answer will usally be, "Not yet, scumbag."
3 - Be polite and use the would "sir" in the calmest possible ways. Using boisterous and obscene language is another charge that can be heaped on, even after the arrest. " You
're being a dick, Officer Sir," doesn't count.4 - Do not resist in any way and say absolutely nothing that will be used against you, otherwise charges for "obstructing," "resisting," "delaying," and other charges will be heaped on the initial charge. Try to have reliable witnesses nearby that will be willing to testify on your behalf that you did not do any of the stuff they will try to heap on to make your charge look worse than it is.
5 - There's no way for you to know ALL of your rights; that doesn't mean you shouldn't have a working knowledge of them. You should take the time to get online and read the laws of your municipality every chance you get. It greatly reduces the chance of being railroaded if you can say, "Officer, I'm sorry to disagree with you but Article 9:19 of the WB code states that I can punch that guy in the face as many times as I want."
6 - Ask to speak to a supervisor and ask that person to please explain why you are being arrested instead of simply going along with what you are told by the arresting officer. That may not help you if the guy pummeling you IS the supervisor.
7 - Remember that police officers are not only trained to detect when you are lying, they are also trained to lie to "get to the truth." If they say, "Don't worry. You're going home as soon as you tell me what I want to know," don't count on it 100%.
Next: Don't Get Tased, Bro!
