Disclaimer: The following is in no way legal advise, and if you think it is there is something wrong with you that being arrested won't fix or you obviously have not read the other posts. This list of scenarios is for entertainment purposes only.
http://www.taser.com/products/Pages/default.aspx
There are plenty of non-lethal ways for a cop to get your drunken, stupid ass under control without killing you.
The baton? That leaves nasty marks that can lead to lawsuits.
Mace/Pepper Spray? It might be too windy and the liquid will end up in everyone's eyes, and Marines might be immune.
Brass Knuckles? We think they banned those...maybe.
Aikido? They can't risk your grabbing at their gun.
So out come the tasers. Start breakdancing, scumbag!! Do the worm!
Tasers can kill. 330 people have died from taser related deaths since 2001. As more and more law enforcement agencies adopt the "less than lethal" control measure, the amount of annual deaths have steadily increased. Up to 50,000 volts in the human body can lead to heart failure in some people, and if you have two tasers shocking the hell out of you...well then you are twice as likely to die.
The taser was invented in 1966 by John Cover, who is certainly in Purgatory awaiting the verdict on whether he saved more lives with his invention than he caused deaths.
http://www.taser.com/pages/TASERSPLASH.aspx
Since then, through intense state and local lobbying efforts (mostly by hiring influential former cops and military men), Taser International, the company that controls the patent, has made sure that this tool has been added to the utility belt of as many crime-fighters as possible. Just YouTube "taser" and enjoy the videos of people wriggling in pain.
But tasers don't work on every one. Some super-villians have to power to outwit the crimefighter's newest tool. Apparently, if you are VERY high on all types of drugs (and naked), the taser is completely ineffective, as displayed here:
http://current.com/items/89993543_naked-wizard-taser-brawl-at-coachella-video-nsfw-warning-nudity.htm
So would you rather get shot with hollow-point bullets? Yeah, it's probably best to avoid both situations and comply, comply, comply. Just go slightly limp and be led to the police car. Once you get there you will find absolutely no leg room in the back seat and it's best if you just slide over and lie down on the seat. This also avoids some of the embarrassment caused by the fact that the people standing around will be cheering.
The handcuffs will be on as tight as possible and that is why it's always best to be about 20-30 pounds overweight; it lessens the amount of pain caused to the wrist bone during transportation to the station. Also, remember to kick at the rear window in homage to that classic episode of Cops.
Next: Games To Play On The Beach When You're Not Getting Busted
http://www.taser.com/products/Pages/default.aspx
There are plenty of non-lethal ways for a cop to get your drunken, stupid ass under control without killing you.
The baton? That leaves nasty marks that can lead to lawsuits.
Mace/Pepper Spray? It might be too windy and the liquid will end up in everyone's eyes, and Marines might be immune.
Brass Knuckles? We think they banned those...maybe.
Aikido? They can't risk your grabbing at their gun.
So out come the tasers. Start breakdancing, scumbag!! Do the worm!
Tasers can kill. 330 people have died from taser related deaths since 2001. As more and more law enforcement agencies adopt the "less than lethal" control measure, the amount of annual deaths have steadily increased. Up to 50,000 volts in the human body can lead to heart failure in some people, and if you have two tasers shocking the hell out of you...well then you are twice as likely to die.
The taser was invented in 1966 by John Cover, who is certainly in Purgatory awaiting the verdict on whether he saved more lives with his invention than he caused deaths.
http://www.taser.com/pages/TASERSPLASH.aspx
Since then, through intense state and local lobbying efforts (mostly by hiring influential former cops and military men), Taser International, the company that controls the patent, has made sure that this tool has been added to the utility belt of as many crime-fighters as possible. Just YouTube "taser" and enjoy the videos of people wriggling in pain.
But tasers don't work on every one. Some super-villians have to power to outwit the crimefighter's newest tool. Apparently, if you are VERY high on all types of drugs (and naked), the taser is completely ineffective, as displayed here:
http://current.com/items/89993543_naked-wizard-taser-brawl-at-coachella-video-nsfw-warning-nudity.htm
So would you rather get shot with hollow-point bullets? Yeah, it's probably best to avoid both situations and comply, comply, comply. Just go slightly limp and be led to the police car. Once you get there you will find absolutely no leg room in the back seat and it's best if you just slide over and lie down on the seat. This also avoids some of the embarrassment caused by the fact that the people standing around will be cheering.
The handcuffs will be on as tight as possible and that is why it's always best to be about 20-30 pounds overweight; it lessens the amount of pain caused to the wrist bone during transportation to the station. Also, remember to kick at the rear window in homage to that classic episode of Cops.
Next: Games To Play On The Beach When You're Not Getting Busted
