Canadians don't tip because the gratuity is supposed to be included; the same goes for Europeans. When they come here they use that as an excuse to "forget" to tip. What's your excuse? Well there could be several reasons you choose to be a cheap
bastard and decide to leave a low percentage tip for someone whose rent money depends on split-tips at the end of the night.
But whoa! Wait a minute! Isn't that the problem? That whole split-tip thing encourages shitty servers to lay back and mooch off the hard workers.
True, but if there was a better way, it would be used. So what is the customer to do? Most servers think they deserve more than they get from each table. Their expectation is 20-25 percent because that is what they tip to show solidarity with their fellow workers when they go out. Some have th
e balls to brag that they "always tip 50 percent" which is supposed to make them better than everyone else because they "know how it feels to work for tips only."
Valid points. Valid points. There are plenty of other valid points, and this debate will rage on and on on the back porches of waitstaff people, while they chain smoke cigarettes, long after we're all dead and in hell and they are all in heaven from being the victims of our nigardly ways. Everyone has their own rules about tipping, but there are some simple guidelines we recommend that will ensure you stay below the radar if you're a shitty tipper or a big spender.
Let's start with the premise that no one "deserves" a tip that is above 20 percent, not the male prostitute you ordered last night because your girlfriend got mad at you and who now knows you are bisexual, not the female prostitute who stayed an extra 20 minutes even though her "driver" beat her up because she was late. No one.
Using that premise, we can work backwards. If the service was exceptional (the table was offered water and drink orders were taken within 2 minutes of being seated, our food orders were taken within 5 minutes of being seated, our food arrived within 25 minutes of being seated) then it was a good day for the patron, the server and the restaurant. But when was the last time that happened? Custom dictates no less than 12 percent unless the service was horrible and/or the servers attitude was shitty. This is a highly subjective realm that could be skewed in either direction by how the patron is feeling and blah, blah, blah. So what to
do in real-life situations?
If you have ANY prospect of getting laid with the server, tip 25 percent and ask them what they are doing later while flashing your fancy watch and business card or by giving them the batted eyelashes look, if you are a girl. If you are not interested in them but you plan on coming back to the establishment, tip 20 percent. If the service was decent but you were in a bad mood because of that puppy you ran over with your car today, tip 15 percent. If the service you got was crappy, you were in a bad mood, and you were never coming back there again, tip 10 percent. But you need to tell them why you tipped poorly because it's not fair for them to wonder why you're such a dick.
Next, always act like you are going to tip 50 percent by being polite and smiling and asking how they are doing and making other polite conversation that include compliments. The reason for this is that you don't want them to spit in your food or mishandle it in any way. This is also the reason why if you don't send ANYTHING back to the kitchen and why you do not order a replacement dish. Better to starve than to eat spit. Come to think of it, it is far better to learn to cook and eat at home instead of worrying about any of this bullshit about the waitstaff's feelings or trying to figure out percentages. Or get the shit to go and fuck the tip!
Next: Big Tip or Little Tip (AT THE BAR)
bastard and decide to leave a low percentage tip for someone whose rent money depends on split-tips at the end of the night.But whoa! Wait a minute! Isn't that the problem? That whole split-tip thing encourages shitty servers to lay back and mooch off the hard workers.
True, but if there was a better way, it would be used. So what is the customer to do? Most servers think they deserve more than they get from each table. Their expectation is 20-25 percent because that is what they tip to show solidarity with their fellow workers when they go out. Some have th
e balls to brag that they "always tip 50 percent" which is supposed to make them better than everyone else because they "know how it feels to work for tips only."Valid points. Valid points. There are plenty of other valid points, and this debate will rage on and on on the back porches of waitstaff people, while they chain smoke cigarettes, long after we're all dead and in hell and they are all in heaven from being the victims of our nigardly ways. Everyone has their own rules about tipping, but there are some simple guidelines we recommend that will ensure you stay below the radar if you're a shitty tipper or a big spender.
Let's start with the premise that no one "deserves" a tip that is above 20 percent, not the male prostitute you ordered last night because your girlfriend got mad at you and who now knows you are bisexual, not the female prostitute who stayed an extra 20 minutes even though her "driver" beat her up because she was late. No one.
Using that premise, we can work backwards. If the service was exceptional (the table was offered water and drink orders were taken within 2 minutes of being seated, our food orders were taken within 5 minutes of being seated, our food arrived within 25 minutes of being seated) then it was a good day for the patron, the server and the restaurant. But when was the last time that happened? Custom dictates no less than 12 percent unless the service was horrible and/or the servers attitude was shitty. This is a highly subjective realm that could be skewed in either direction by how the patron is feeling and blah, blah, blah. So what to
do in real-life situations?If you have ANY prospect of getting laid with the server, tip 25 percent and ask them what they are doing later while flashing your fancy watch and business card or by giving them the batted eyelashes look, if you are a girl. If you are not interested in them but you plan on coming back to the establishment, tip 20 percent. If the service was decent but you were in a bad mood because of that puppy you ran over with your car today, tip 15 percent. If the service you got was crappy, you were in a bad mood, and you were never coming back there again, tip 10 percent. But you need to tell them why you tipped poorly because it's not fair for them to wonder why you're such a dick.
Next, always act like you are going to tip 50 percent by being polite and smiling and asking how they are doing and making other polite conversation that include compliments. The reason for this is that you don't want them to spit in your food or mishandle it in any way. This is also the reason why if you don't send ANYTHING back to the kitchen and why you do not order a replacement dish. Better to starve than to eat spit. Come to think of it, it is far better to learn to cook and eat at home instead of worrying about any of this bullshit about the waitstaff's feelings or trying to figure out percentages. Or get the shit to go and fuck the tip!
Next: Big Tip or Little Tip (AT THE BAR)
